my life changed forever when i found out the word “slang” was actually slang for “shortened language”
Girls, when you’re feeling sad, just remember:
- a vagina can go back to it’s original size after taking something 20x its size
- a penis will end up looking like an empty potato sack that’s been run over quite a lot if it does
You can do this girl.
Be as resilient as your vagina.
Shine bright like a ‘gina
Right so im walking home and I see this guy rolling a cigarette under a streetlamp and when he clicked his lighter THE FUCKING STREETLIGHT WENT OUT
I stopped in my tracks and stared at this guy who looks up at me then to his lighter and hes as surprised as me then he takes his thumb off the trigger and THE STREETLIGHT TURNS BACK ON
HE GAVE THE MOST SURPRISED LOOK OF ANYONE EVER AND THEN SHOUTED “LATER MUGGLES” AND FUCKING RAN OFF
AM I DREAMING
“Lily is a Great Dane that has been blind since a bizarre medical condition required that she have both eyes removed. For the last 5 years, Maddison, another Great Dane, has been her sight. The two are, of course, inseparable. “
By the time I was your age, I’d give anything
To fall in love truly, was all I could think
That’s when I met your mother, the girl of my dreams
The most beautiful woman, that I’d ever seen
She said, “Boy can I tell you a wonderful thing?
I can’t help but notice, you’re staring at me.